‘We want our own nuclear weapons’ – A World Cup Anthem for North Korea by The Graham Parsnip Liquidiser Think Tank

The Graham Parsnip Liquidiser Torture Think Tank

The Graham Parsnip Liquidiser Torture Think Tank isn’t a name you’re likely to forget in a hurry and after recording their World Cup anthem, ‘We Are North Korea’ at Blue Whale Studios, we are definitely not going to forget their insanely catchy chorus either (insane being the operative word). Lead Graham, Kirkio tells us about his plans for nuclear Proliferation:

Are you big in North Korea then?

“It’s hard to believe but we are practically unknown over there, we did a tour last year and we were thrown out of the country as too many North Koreans were complaining from neck ache after our gigs, we ended up playing on our knees which really messed up the drumming and it just all went downhill really.”

What does Kim Jong Il think of the song? If you don’t know would you like to hazard a guess?

“Well it’s hazard a guess time, he’s not our biggest fan, he slated our last album Business Ducks live on TV and declared us ‘dirty’, its highly unlikely he has taken the time to listen to the song, despite its obvious merits. So as a hazard I would say it’s not his cup of tea.”

Are you big fans of nuclear proliferation? Have you any nuclear weapons of your own?

“We want our own nuclear weapons, if everyone had their own I think the world would be a safer place, Broad Street would be better off with circa 2000 warheads bobbing around the Australian Bar. 1 person 1 warhead.”

Was the video filmed entirely on location or did you use big budget special effects for e.g. the scene with the boat at the end?

“You may well have to pour yourself a stiff drink, we didnt shoot it in North Korea due to our ‘dirty’ ban, it was all nicked off Youtube. Hard to believe I know. We did actually have some footage of the band kicking a ball around outside the Custard Factory but it got lost somehow. The security guard was giving us some funny looks but it turned out he wanted to play headers and volleys. He beat us soundly.”

It has been reported that Kim Jong Il may not even allow state controlled media to report on the World Cup if North Korea do not win it, as defeat is considered unacceptable. It is highly unlikely that they will win and all references to the World Cup in North Korea will be erased. Do you yourselves expect to be erased by North Korean officials once the team inevitably gets knocked out of the tournament?

“Although we lost the footage of the band, this could be considered a wee blessing, as some of us have quite distinctive faces and would be easy to spot in a short crowd of Koreans. I imagine in a Korean version of the usual suspects type line-up we would stick out like sore fishes. I’m hoping the intense publicity that is surrounding the song will somehow protect us from Kim’s long arm, surely he cant kill the whole band? Not once we are armed with our very own warheads? It’s a risk we will have to take, life sometimes reaches a peak and there is no doubt we have recorded one of the best songs in human history and if we have to die for our art, so be it.”

Finally, when is the song out and on what label and from what website and from what shop?

“The song is on our own ‘Confused by Geese’ label, you can get it from my house anytime you like. Big North Korean shout out to the Blue Whale! Top studio, top people, top floor (almost!).”


One response to “‘We want our own nuclear weapons’ – A World Cup Anthem for North Korea by The Graham Parsnip Liquidiser Think Tank

  1. this is a great song to have as background music whilst i am encouraging my root vegetable. very soothing.

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